Impact Of Childhood On Marital Relationship

Presenting Problems:

• Marital discord
• Ashish taking no responsibility in the family
• Vinita finds no love in the relationship and also feels that Ashish never stands for her

Marital History:
Ashish and Vinita have two sons; 15 & 17 years. When they approached me they were married for 18 years. Ashish is into business and Vinita is a homemaker. Vinita’s parents helped her financially as Ashish was not making much in his business. They live in a house which was given by Vinita’s parents. Vinita didn’t have good rapport with her mother-in-law as they didn’t treat her well at the beginning of marriage. Her mother-in-law lived with Ashish’s brother. Ashish himself told his mother not to come to his house as there were frequent fights and he didn’t wanted his Mother to get humiliated. Ashish carried guilt regarding this incident. Ashish also felt that he is a failed Son and not able to meet his Mother’s expectations.

Family History:
Vinita hails from a rich family where she was pampered a lot as she used to be sick most of the times since her childhood. Ashish is from a middle class family. Vinita is well connected to her parents and Siblings. Ashish is also connected but Vinita is not much happy about him connected to his extended family.

Childhood:
Vinita used to be always compared with her elder sister. After 7 years, her younger brother was born. As a child she felt rejected. She feels that everyone speaks to her only in absence of her sister. Everyone gave her attention as she was a pleasing child. Ashish was born with two brothers and he was brought well.

Observations:

• The relationship lacked strong foundation as their marriage was not very smooth from the beginning.
• Vinita always felt that Ashish didn’t support their marriage from the beginning.
• Ashish always felt that Vinita was a nagging wife and fails to understand his feelings towards his parents.
• Vinita felt she was trapped in this relationship and always have insecure feeling.
• She always felt Ashish didn’t have any feeling and he didn’t love her.
• Vinita was keen to renew the relationship, as trust and love was missing.

Impressions:

• Ashish had not experienced much love and affection throughout his life so it was hard for him to
  reciprocate the way Vinita expected.
• Ashish was having only brothers, so didn’t know how Female Psychology is.
• Vinita needed therapy to come out of the trust issues.

Approaches and Techniques:

• Separate sessions to Vinita and Ashish to address their issues.
• Love language was administered and they were asked to communicate in each other’s love language.
• Explained the basic emotional need in marital relationship.
• Communication was taught.
• Explained Man and woman psychology.