Presenting Problems:

• Vidhya didn’t feel connected with Vignesh.
• Vidhya was not interested in sex.
• Vignesh prioritized his parents over Vidhya’s.
• Vignesh was dependent on Vidhya’s parents for money and she was not happy about that.

Individual History:

Vidhya works for Infoysys. It was an arranged marriage 18 months back and she always felt that her husband is more dependent on her parents. She is convinced that he didn’t love or care for her. As she was not able to get pregnant soon after marriage, her in-laws always found fault with her. She wanted her Husband to be financially independent, as he was in to his family business and was dependent on his Father.

Vignesh’s Version:
Vignesh assists his Father into the business as he is the only son. He had good time with Vidhya speaking and spending time before marriage. He wondered how her love disappeared in just 18 months. He also added that Vidhya loses her temper and shows all her office stress on him. There were frequent arguments between his Mother & Vidhya, adding to his frustration.

Family History:

Vidhya hailed from a upper middle class family. Father was a control freak and he exploited her sexually and her Mother was not even aware of it. She always felt that men are dominant. Vignesh hailed from an affluent, distinguished family with flourishing business. His elder Sister is settled abroad. He respected his father and never spoke anything against his father. He never wanted to join the family business, but didn’t have the courage to express to his father as he is single Son and it is his responsibility to take care of the business. He was powerless as most of the decisions his father used to take.

Childhood History:
1. Vidhya was a confused person due to her father’s temper, tantrums and impulsive decisions. She felt all men are dominant. Her emotions were all suppressed. She was only close to her Mother.
2. Vignesh had a happy childhood. He knew his parents loved him very much. His respect for his father is such that he didn’t want to disobey any of his decisions.

My Observations:

• Vidhya and Vignesh carried baggages from their childhood.
• Vidhya had a belief that all men are dominant and they want female only to satisfy their sexual needs.
• There were problems in four quadrant of marriage.
• Love language is different in both of them.
• Vignesh had low self esteem being in the family where he was not allowed to take any decisions.

Approaches:

1. Explaining male and female psychology to Vidhya and Vignesh.
2. They were asked to write about their childhood to understand and find out their injunctions ( TA), which let them to understand that their major issues are coming from their childhood. Like for Vidhya, all men are dominant and for Vignesh, its not ok to be assertive.
3. Used Neuro Linguistic programming to help them get out of the past.
4. Made them explore their love language.
5. Hypnotherapy session for clearing their childhood and managing their emotions.